On Preparing For Future Roles & Responsibilities

Today was the first time that I ever conducted a sacrament meeting.  I found it to be a nerve-wracking experience.  All in all it went ok.

I feel so inadequate right now.  There are so many small things at school, work and in church that I just don't seem to be taking care of.  I'm doing a satisfactory job but I'm not excelling in any particular area.

I guess the next stage in my life's progress will be learning how to become efficient in several areas of concern at the same time.  I think a couple of key words might be: administrate, delegate, concentrate, and follow through.

I do want to learn a great deal at this time in my life while preparing for the great challenge of being a husband and father.  This time I have to prepare is just too valuable to flutter away in idleness.

John A. is a great roommate to have around.  He is very diligent in his studies and keeps me on my toes.  Today is his birthday.  We went over to Suzie's old place and had ice-cream and cake.  I had to fix the toilet!

Valerie came down yesterday.  We watched the L.A. Express win their playoff game against Michigan.  Then we went to "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" - an incredible movie.  After the movie we took my guitar down to the elementary school.  It was a warm evening and Val looked good in my sweatshirt.  We sat on the merry-go-round and watched the stars.  She cried.

Lots of romantic (in the general nature of the term) feelings and events this summer.

Nighty, night!


JC

Understanding & Recognizing The Will Of The Lord

Johnny Ahlstrom got home today from New Jersey - engaged.  He is happy and I think that he will be a little different from here on out.  His heart and most of his brain are somewhere in N.J.

I had a very special experience this evening.  We held a Bishop's court for R.  The details were extensive and many transgressions involving chastity, word of wisdom and honesty were involved.  In Bishop Shelley's experience it was the most compounded court that he had ever dealt with.  After the initial part of the court, R was excused and we talked.  My head was spinning.  I didn't know what to think.  Being the second counselor, the Bishop asked for my recommendation first.  I didn't know what to say.  He gave Brent and I more time to think.  I was praying fervently that the Lord would make His will manifest to me.

At first I felt that disfellowshipment would be appropriate.  I almost said that.  Then, as I thought, I decided against that.  I just felt that probation would be the right thing.  I told the Bishop my decision.  He tried to hide a smile that came over his face.  I wasn't sure what that meant and it made me nervous but I felt good about my suggestion.  Brent expressed the same desire.  We then knelt in prayer and we felt the confirmation of the Spirit.  The Bishop also felt that probation was the correct decision.

It was a special feeling of gratitude that came into my heart.  The decision was unanimous and the Lord was able to make His will known to us.

I'm tired - mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally!


JC

A Weekend At Jan & Wayne's

I spent a good part of the weekend at Jan and Wayne's.  She let me borrow her Triumph TR8 convertible.  So I went to the water slides with Valerie, then up to Alta all the while getting fried by the sun.

I have just realized how picky I have become about women.  In a way it is good.  I will not marry just the first girl that comes along.  At the same time I might not give some girls a good look when I ought to.

How come I feel like I have done this before?

Ron is going to have a church court.  This will be an interesting experience since he is my roommate!

I have really been tempted lately to avoid writing in my journal and reading the scriptures.


JC

Participating In A Bishop's Court

I blew my stats final today.  It lowered my grade in the course from an A to a B.  I was very discouraged.  Sometimes I just don't feel I have the smarts that it takes to do the job.

I participated in a Bishop's court this evening.  It was an important experience for me.  I felt a spirit of love throughout the trial and that made things go smoothly.  I'm impressed a great deal with both Bishop Shelley and with Brent Thomas, the first counselor.

I represented The Church and found it difficult to bring strong allegations to someone while they sat right in front of me.

The decision of the court was unanimous and it greatly reinforced my testimony.

Tracy Milligan and I went for a walk last night and again this evening.  I really can pick 'em.  She is leaving for Arizona tomorrow then home to Colorado then she will be off to France for a year!


JC

When Dad Said "I Love You" & Sitting On The Stand As A New Bishopric Member

When President Andersen announced my name to be the second counselor in the bishopric my heart was pounding.  I could feel it as it raced the blood through my arteries, straining my neck against the collar of my shirt.  I was asked to sit on the stand.  Although I was nervous and my hand trembled as I held the hymnal, I did feel good to be up there.  I still feel like John Christensen.  I felt inadequate as usual during my temple recommend interview with Bishop Shelley.  How could I possibly say yes to a question asking if I was totally honest in all my dealings with my fellowmen.  I said yes.  What does that say about me?

I called Dad tonight and had a good talk with him.  It was mostly about trivial stuff like tennis but it felt comfortable to talk with him.  At the end of the conversation I told him, as I often do, that I loved him.  I must have caught him off guard or something miraculous happened, because he said "I love you too."  I almost went into a state of shock!  That must be the first time in the last 15 years of so that I can remember him saying those exact words!  I've always known that he has loved me but there truly is something magical about those three words.

Finals week is coming up this week.  I have three tests to take in three days.  I hope that I can stay current in my journal!

I don't remember exactly what President Andersen said as I was being set apart as a counselor in the bishopric, but I do remember the feeling of closeness to spiritual things.  It did feel good.


JC

Being Called Into The BYU Singles Ward Bishopric

I'm not sure that I will ever bear my testimony again!

Bishop Shelley called this morning and asked me to go see the Stake President.  When I got up there I recognized a couple of the men in the ward.  Ideas started going through my mind; a calling to a position in one of the elder's quorums?  an assistant ward clerk?  what?

As I went in to talk with one of the counselors, the first question he asked me was, "Have you impressed your bishop?"  That seemed an odd question and I really couldn't answer it.  He then asked me what I was doing in The Church.  I told him that I presently did not have a calling in the ward.  He then asked me if I would serve as the second counselor in the Bishopric.  That question almost short-circuited my brain.  I didn't know what to say.  I felt most unworthy and inadequate.  I told the member of the Stake Presidency why I felt that way and requested a talk with Bishop Shelley.  We talked, he told me to see him after church.

That gave me the opportunity to go home and pray.  I cried and cried and I felt so inadequate.  I prayed for comfort and strength and peace of mind.  I prayed that the Lord would help me to accept the decisions made by his ordained leaders.

As I walked back to church I felt a feeling of peace come over me.  There had been a lot of doubts and reservations going through my mind.  All my bad actions, thoughts and deeds came to mind.  The prayer helped a great deal.

After sacrament I talked again with the Bishop and got things squared away for lots of work to come. I started the minute that I walked out of his office.  We counted up tithing, fast offerings, and budget then went and deposited them at the bank.  Rob was very helpful and gracious as he assisted me.

I then went back and talked to President Thompson.

What a day!  Up to the MTC after finishing my fast (one of the best I've had in a long time).  Problems with AU in the gym with all the Brazilian missionaries.

Valerie came down from Murray to visit.  She is a gem and I think I better keep an eye on her.

John got back from Idaho.  I missed him.  We shared experiences from our mission journals and laughed.  I do love him and will miss him greatly when he gets married.

I called Mom today.  She was depressed and in tears.  She feels at times that she has failed in raising her family in The Church.  I tried to comfort her.

A valiant woman.  I love her dearly.


JC

Baptizing In Six-Month-Old Green Water

I don't know exactly how but it seems as though I have been able to keep this journal up to date.  It's P-Day today and we have been kind of cleaning up.  Two elders are out visiting from Oruro.  One of them is another Tongan.

Yesterday was really neat.  The Mamanis were baptized and I got to do it.  The Church is an ex-mosque and I don't know what it was that we baptized in but it held enough water.  The water was about 6 months old and a weird shade of green.  It was harder trying to remember their names than it was the prayer.  That night after Sacrament we watched movies again.  When we watched The First Vision I felt the spirit really strong.

I guess I have been chosen to lead the music.  It is just like singing a solo.  We don't have anyone who can play the piano and a lot of the songs the people don't know, but it is fine.

Last night I about froze to death.  I was wearing my garments, long underwear, shirt, tie, sweatshirt, socks, and scarf and I still froze.  It was really cold this morning.  The wind was really blowing and we froze.

I have really enjoyed today.  I just feel good.

Shaking Hands With Elder L. Tom Perry

I shook the hand of an apostle of the Lord tonight.  Elder L. Tom Perry spoke at our devotional.  When I shook his hand, I did feel power come out and into my body.  Not physical power but spiritual power.  I know that he is an apostle.

His speech was a needed rest.  I have really felt like I have been sinking under the load of this final week.  I am trying to do everything and I am not doing anything well.  Re-passing, learning new concepts, my relations with others are really sagging and I haven't felt too good about my attitude.

I FEEL BETTER!  I've done some talking with Elder Laycock but it is late and I will write about it tomorrow.

JC's Mission Farwell & Being Set Apart

Today was one of the choicest days of my life.  Today was Father's Day and the day of my farewell.

I think the best thing about today is the special feelings that I have had for my father.  I don't think that I have ever seen him better.  He showed real joy and appreciation for the gifts which he received.
The most special part of the day for me was Sacrament meeting.  The bishop spoke.  He even remembered a talk that I gave when I was 14.  Then Kerri in her meek but beautiful way, got up and told me that she loved me.  I get nervous every time she stands before a crowd.  Not because I'm worried about her speech difficulties but because her words always bring out my strongest emotions.  I often find myself choking on tears when she stands.  Jan followed Kerri with a "Dear John".  She reflected back on some of the moments that we have shared.  The long talks (which haven't been long enough) and shared confidences were mentioned in the talk.  Next came Kris.  She reflected some experiences that she has had with me.  Saving me from choking on a jack.

From time to time throughout the service, I struggled vainly with my emotions and tears.

Sister Marion Pond sang a song entitled "My Little Boy".  The song was composed by her.  It was very stirring.

Mother spoke of the missionary mold and the qualities that this particular "model" has.

I believe that the highlight of the day was when my beloved father spoke.  He fairly quickly wandered off of his notes.  His manner of speaking is so beautiful that no one would have guessed.  He expressed his appreciation to those people in the ward who had made contributions in my life (there are many).  He then went on to thank my friends.  It is hard for me to remember exactly what he said.  I was too busy fighting tear drops.  I do know that I don't believe that I have ever felt closer to him in my entire life.  His words came from his heart and I could feel his love for me as never before.  He closed his talk with some Spanish phrases which really hit me.  He said "John, 'Noja con Dios', 'Bueno suerte'" and one other that I can not recall.

The Lord helped me get through my talk somehow.  I wouldn't be surprised if no one heard anything.  They were probably pondering and savoring the preceding excellent talks.  I talked about missionary work.  I read a letter to my grandma that was written while my grandfather was in the mission field in 1912.  I closed by bearing my testimony and reading from Alma, his parting words with Shiblon who was going on a mission.

Brother Ken Lowell finished by singing "Ye Who Are Called To Labor".  Mike Chovey offered the benediction.

After Sacrament we had an open house.  It was enjoyable talking to those people whom I love so much and have helped me so dearly.  While at the open house, Bishop Christensen walked up to Jeff and I and informed us that we were both going to be set apart tonight.  Jeff and I both headed for the phones.  He to call his girlfriend and I to talk with my dearest Linda.  She must feel terribly left out.  Linda sounded kind of down.  I did my best to cheer her up but I am not too sure of my success.  It was hard saying goodbye.  I later found out that it would be OK to call her even after I was set apart.  I doubt that I will call her again however because I think that it will be easier for her not to hear my voice again.

After Sacrament the Bishop handed me a check.  It was for the sum of one-hundred dollars.  Even though it was written on a Church check, I would not be surprised if the money came out of his pocket.  Sister Klaich gave me a book by Carol Lynn Pearson and twenty dollars.  This good woman has two sons on missions and she does not have a lot of money.  I know the Lord will bless her.

At 8:00 pm we went to the Stake President's office.  He interviewed me then Jeff Smith, I then had the opportunity to stand in while Jeff was set apart.  Then Jeff and his Dad, my Dad, the Bishop stood in while the Stake President set me apart.  President Cleghorn said some marvelous things.  I hope and pray that I will be able to live up to the blessings that are in store for my family and myself.

We came home and listened to tapes of conversations and my birthday party.

We are going to head up to Aspen in the morning.

I took Debbie out last night and she gave me a pen to match my pencil.  I was touched.

Friday night we (the young adults) went to Birline Lake to water ski and swim out.  Afterwards we went to Pizza Hut to munch down.  On Wednesday night I took Julie Waldrop out.  I had to get my two year quota filled.  It was fun.  I enjoyed talking to her.

I AM A MISSIONARY!!!!!  I can't believe it.

Thinking About The Mission Farewell Talk Coming Up Soon

Well just one week and two days before I go into the MTC.

I got a surprise tape from Linda that was really neat.  I will have to return the favor.

Jeff Smith and his parents spoke at his farewell.  All of the speakers had some good thoughts.  Jeff's talk was short and simple.  Not like the big production that no doubt is in my mother's head.

I better get on the ball and plan my talk.  I hope it will be OK.

I just got a great idea.  I am going to gather my belongings and then will them to my family.

Right now I am waiting for a guy who wants to look at my car.  I hope he shows up soon.

Kris is arriving tomorrow afternoon.  Can't Wait.

Working Sheep With Dad & Mom's Testimony

What a day.  It is 10:50 pm and I am fairly tired.

Dad woke me up at 3:30 am.  We had to trail some sheep.  We said our goodbyes to Robert (our Australian visitor) and then hit the road.  We trailed the sheep 12 miles from Gateway to the foothills of the La Sals.  The country was marvelous.

We got home at 4:00 pm and I thought that I was through for the day.  However Dad needed some help to load some feeder lambs for market.  We had a short shute and we had to throw most of the lambs onto the top deck.  The lower deck went easier.  We got home at 9:00 pm.

Yesterday was a fine day.  We had a good testimony meeting.  Mother bore a beautiful testimony and I had to choke back the tears.  I love her so much.  I fully fail to show her often enough of my love for her.

Kerri wrote me a note telling me that she loved me.

I read a good deal out of Spencer W. Kimball's biography Sunday.  What a great yet humble man.  He accomplishes so much yet he still wants to do more.  What a great example for all mankind.  I can see why he is the prophet.

Well it is 11:00 pm and I should study my discussions and write to my dear Linda.  I hope I can get that accomplished.

Lance sent me a tape today.  It was great.  I do love him.  He has changed so much for the better and his words always inspire me.  I hope that we will always stay in touch.

Receiving The Temple Endowment & Other Pre-Mission Events

As Jan, Mother and I were traveling home from Manti yesterday, Jan started reading passages out of her journal.  I hope that some of the words that I will enter in this journal may serve to do some uplifting to some poor soul, meaning me.

I have to do some catching up on past events and I will do my best to bring it up to date.

I have been convalescing to an extent from a bad back.  This problem has been bothering me for the past few months.  I definitely believe that I am on the mend.

Since this is a missionary journal I will primarily contend with those things pertaining to my mission.  I must however add those happenings and events that are meaningful to me.

I guess I'll start with the shots.  My typhoid shot was a killer.  My arm ached for days and it made me sick.  I get the second dose two days before I go into the MTC!  Polio was OK, it was an oral vaccine.  I guess I will get the majority of my shots while I am in the MTC and then I will get some gamma-globulin shots every three months while in Bolivia.

I have had some really good talks with my Bishop and Stake President.  Bishop Christensen is a real good man as is President Cleghorn.  They have provided me with loving and wise counsel during these last weeks.

This weekend has really been a big event for me.  Thursday morning Jeff Smith and I drove over to Provo.  We barged in on Boyd Hill but as usual he offered us his floor and the rest of his house.

On Friday we met Mother and Jan at Mr. Mac's in Salt Lake.  Jeff and I got just about everything we needed right there in one store.  We got close to 50% off on all of our purchases.

Then we went over to purchase our first pairs of garments.  A lady sent us into dressing rooms to try them on.  That was really strange.

Jeff and I were fasting that day and it seems as if Mom and Jan were trying to tempt us.  Every time we turned around they were eating or drinking something!

Saturday was a real big event.  As I pondered and thought about going through the temple I realized to a small extent the responsibility that I would have to accept.  I just pray to the Lord that I will always be able to handle these responsibilities.

The temple ceremony was really neat.  There were a lot of things that I couldn't comprehend.  Fortunately I will be able to go through several more times before I leave for Bolivia.

The temple was so beautiful I just forgot about everything except for the endowment ceremony.  We were blessed to have in our company:  Mother, my Aunt La Rue, Wilford Moses, Gary Hall, Bishop Christensen, Lynn Shumway, and of course Jeff, Mitch, and myself.  I wish that my beloved sister Jan Leslie could have gone with but I know that her time will come and she will settle for no less.

After we went through the temple Aunt June prepared a marvelous feast of baked ham, salads and various other delectable foods.  It was grand!

The trip home was OK.  I am afraid that I will miss the scenic beauty of Utah and Colorado.