Starting The Long Climb To Excellence

It's raining here and we are in our room just waiting for the leaks to start.  The roof of brick tiles leaks and we are anticipating that our little canvas ceiling isn't going to hold it back much longer.  Already a few little wet patches are appearing.  Luckily they are mostly on Kupu's side of the room!

The Latin people are really different and sometimes it is so hard to work with them and love them.  One thing that is really bad is the lying.  They teach the children how to lie.

One of the most discouraging and deflating things that I can think of is when you go out and knock doors all day, make a whole day's worth of appointments and then find out the next day that not one of them is home.  So we go out and do the same thing.

I really fell up in the air as to what to do.  Kupu and I have a hard time motivating ourselves to give 100% and when we don't I feel really guilty.

The dogs here are something else.  They don't bother the other animals here or the people, but missionaries!!  They must be the devil's best friend.  Every time one of them sees us it starts to bark and howl like it had been hit with a rock.  Sometimes we will want to knock on a door and there will be a big mean dog on the step.  It really takes some courage to try and walk up to the door.  However and funny though it may seem, the nicest families have the meanest dogs.

We are going into Paz this weekend for a conference with David B. Haight.  It will really be a good change of pace.  We were supposed to have gone into a conference with one of the seventies but we found out about it on the morning of the conference!

We have a lot of supplies to pick up for the members as well as us.  I hope that we get to do some work in Paz because we really have had kind of a "frito" week so far.

Elder Kupu and I are starting to get pretty close.  I guess that just follows when you are the only "extraneros" in Colquiri.  We have spent some time talking about friends, family and countries.  The other night we had a real neat companion inventory session.  I got to see some sides of him that I haven't seen previously.  It is really an opportunity to have someone from another culture as a companion.

Kupu's culture is really different.  In Tonga they wear skirts instead of pants.  That is pretty funny when he is walking around in his "falta".  Dating patterns are different.  Kupu plans to get married in about a month after he gets back from his mission.  That's just the way they are and he doesn't even have a girlfriend.  Food, family and just about everything else is different in his country.  However the gospel gives us that common bond that we need.  With the gospel it seems as though there is no difference between us at all.  This Church of Jesus Christ is really meant for all the sons of God on earth!

I have read back over the entries in my journal since I got here in Bolivia and I marvel at how inadequate they are.  They just don't cut the mustard as far as expressing feelings or ideas are concerned.  It makes me realize how much I have to repent.

The Lord has blessed me with a great deal of talent and ability which I have pretty effectively frittered away during this life.  I think that I have pretty fairly developed my physical talents and abilities.  However up to the start of my mission, I have sorely neglected the development of my mental and spiritual abilities.

I am beginning to realize how short this earthly life is.  I don't know if I will ever be able to make up the lost ground in the area of my mental and spiritual development (if there is a chance).  I think I know where to start.  I better repent and ask forgiveness of my Heavenly Father, my parents and myself. Then I must get going.  I feel real good about my MTC experience.  It really opened my eyes as far as my mental and spiritual potential are concerned.  I learned how to study and I learned how to pray and use them together.

What I must be able to do is to maintain this knowledge then start the long climb to excellence.  It will be a long road.  It will be longer for me than a lot of people because I have been walking the other way for so long.  But I am learning to enjoy walking up here in Colquiri, so where but here could be a better place to start!!

The Night Walk Home

Yesterday was really neat.

Besides baptizing Hermana Rosa, Elder Kupu, President Jeran and I blessed eleven children.  They ranged in age from just born to 7-years-old.  It was really neat because we could really feel the spirit.  It made me think about that someday when I would be doing the same with a little child of my own.

I felt really good yesterday.  I even didn't mind having chunyo and rabbit (guinea pig) for dinner.

We went over to Ibanez after dinner.  We were supposed to have a Family Home Evening with the branch but nobody showed up.  They are really nice and super humble.

I really enjoy walking home at night from Huayropata.  That mile or so of trail gives me time to think.  I usually look at the lights of Colquiri then gradually get into my mind.  I think of me as a missionary and how the Lord has blessed me with so many things.  I think of the people here, my companion and how neat he is.  I think of my family, my girl and someday of raising a family of my own.  What a great responsibility!

That high mountain air really revives me and I usually get any bad feelings out by the time we get to the room.  Then I sleep like a log.

Today was a learning experience.  It's P-Day but we decided to work anyway.  We had several "citas" set up but not one of them was home.  That is just the way it is in Bolivia.

First Impressions Of The Bolivia La Paz Mission

So much has transpired in the last few days that I don't know where to begin.  Elder Kupu (a native Tongan) and I have been assigned to work in Colquiri.  He is really a super elder.  Colquiri is the location of the highest branch in the world (about 15,000 feet).  I still haven't received my other suitcase, it is still in the Airport I think.

The Mission President met us at the Airpot and took all us to his home.  Hotel, sleep, breakfast, orientation, assignments and we were off.

The city of La Paz is really incredible.  So many colors, varieties, sounds and twists and turns, ups and downs.  We went to mail a latter and buy some warm stuff for Colquiri.  We went to the black market and it was neat.

Right now I am kind of sick.  I really got off to a running start.  The food is taking a while to get used to but so far I have been able to get everything down and keep it down.  Although sometimes I can feel it trying to come up.

From what I hear about Colquiri it is going to be tough.  Elder Kupu and I will be the only missionaries there.  It is a mining town and the people are cold sometimes.  I think that it will be a good way to start.  If I can eat the food and work hard there, then I think that I will be able to work hard everywhere.

I wish I had the gift to be able to express my feelings and thoughts more clearly but alas, I have yet to develop the ability.  Even though this journal may be too boring to re-read or for someone else to read, at least I am keeping with the admonition of President Kimball to maintain a journal.

One of the hardest things for me to keep down is the hot milk.  I have had two glasses now and both times it was a life and death struggle to get it down.  I can feel it right now in my stomach and it doesn't feel good.

In just two days here I have met so many good, kind and humble people.  I really hope that I can learn to love Bolivia and the people.

To change the subject so that I don't lose it from thinking about the milk...  I guess I am only the second (third) new missionary to start in Colquiri.  Elder Hales was first and apprently it has done him good.  He is now one of the Assistants to the President.  I guess President Hill must have a lot of confidence in me.  When Elder Hale was there when there were four missionaries, we will be the only ones.  I hope that I don't let the President, my companero, or any of the others who are supporting me down.  I know that if I can be humble and have the Lord with me all the time then I can't help but do good.

Bolivia Bound: Thoughts From The Miami Airport

We are sitting in the Miami Airport.  I think these lines are the same ones that I wrote two years ago in the same place while waiting to go to Argentina.  Some eternal experiences have transpired in the last two days.

Sunday.  Many compliments were paid to the Azul District.  We averaged 80% on DMT, 9 out of 10 memorized all 8 discussions, and many commented on the love and examples that we have shown each other.  That night we had a great culture class.  Elder Harris and Elder Merrill really got us excited to go.  Then, we went up to the temple and had a testimony meeting.  I cannot describe the spirit that was there so I won't try.  After the meeting we all gave each other abrazos.  Everyone was crying, those abrazos were so neat.  I just won't forget District Azul.  It rained on the run back from the temple.

I felt like I was in a dream world on the bus to Salt Lake.  The reality of 2 months has not sunk in.  These two months in the MTC have been the fastest in my life.  If I have had thoughts of being unprepared they are gone.  Now is my time and I am ready.

Seeing Mom and Dad and Linda at the Airport really was a dream.  It was so fast.  Dad and Mom were fairly easy to comprehend but I haven't seen Linda for five months and I was just shocked at how good she looked to me.  I just bumbled with my words.  I don't think that I got one clear thing across, and that handshake with Linda just seemed insufficient.  I guess one day I'll gain my reward haha.  I talked with them a little about my experiences in the MTC and what they were doing.  The time went just too fast.  On the way up to the Airport I wrote my testimony in The Book of Mormon that I bought for Dad.  The road was real bumpy and the handwriting was shaky but it was my testimony.  I also was able to bear my testimony to all three in Spanish, it was neat for me and I think that they felt my spirit.

Well, on the plane to Denver I handed out my first pamphlet to a man who had his family with him.  I was nervous as all get out.  Elder Cowley who is in my traveling companion told me that I did a good job, that helped.  Speaking of Elder Cowley, his grandfather's brother was Matthew Cowley.  He is a real good missionary.

My second contact in the plane was real great.  We were flying between Denver and Dallas.  I sat next to a lady named Laura Wallace.  We got a real good conversation going about Colorado, Trumbles in Boulder, sheep, Aspen, and many other things.  We became fast friends when I gave her some of my Mom's toffee that she made for me.  She raved and raved about it.  Well the spirit was helping out and I got some inspiration.  I told her that if she gave me her address I would have my Mom send her the recipe.  That was the first address that I have received for a referral and I think that it was pretty smooth.  We then got on the subject of families.  I gave her Elder Cowley's tract on Family Home Evenings since I had given mine to the first family.  She mentioned that she had the missionaries over before.  I asked her what she thought of the Church.  She told me that she thought the Church was a real good one and that she was extremely impressed with the youth.  However she told me that she couldn't accept the Joseph Smith Story.  I told her my feelings about Joseph Smith, bore my testimony of him and gave her the pamphlet on him.  I aske her to read it again and pray.  I told her also that I would send some missionaries again.

I felt so good doing all of this.  She truly was a good lady.  By this time the plan had landed.  I took a big piece of the toffee and wrapped it in a napkin for her.  I really think she was touched.  We said our goodbyes and parted.

My third contact was probably the strangest.  A lady who was from Cuba and returning on a vacation to Miami.  She didn't speak very good English which gave me a chance to practice my Spanish.  We introduced ourselves and I talked with her a little about Bolivia.  She then kind of drifted off to sleep.  We ate dinner and then she slept a little again.  I had decided that she didn't want to hear about the Church.  I think it was just that I didn't want to talk because the spirit was really working.  It seems as if out of nowhere she just asked me what our Church believed.  Well, I guess I realized that it wasn't me that should decide who to teach and who not to.  I girded up my guts and got going.  I presented the C-1 concept and C-2 to her in Spanish.  I was really nervous.  I hope that I didn't get her too confused.  I told her that if she gave me her address, then some missionaries would be sent to tell her more.  She did so gladly.  She was really surprised with the story of Joseph Smith.  Apparently she had never heard of him.  I felt so insufficient with my ability to communicate.

It's 1:20 am and we just heard that our flight will be delayed until 4:00 this morning.  That is going to be a while.

The variety of people here in this Airport is absolutely incredible.  All races, colors and creeds are represented.  Spanish is as commonly heard as English.  There also is a diversity of morals and standards of attire.  Some with sufficient, others insufficient.  Well it is time to attempt some sleep.  Before I do that, I will write just about my feelings right now.

I can just feel those precious missionary days just slipping through my fingers.  Talking with the people is really a great experience.  Every person is so different and so full of stories of their own life.  I always hope that I can have this desire and love for the people.  I think the love that I have felt for these people has come as part of my call.  The last lady that I taught was a negro.  The funny things was that distinction wasn't made until I saw her later in the airport.  While I was teaching she was just another child of God to whom I should share my message.

"I think I need a mini P-Week!"

The days are going faster than I can write them down.  It's Saturday.  We have a mini P-Day to wash our clothes and pack.  To do all the things that I need to do I think that I need a mini P-Week!  I have worked harder than I have in my whole life, prayed harder, and tried harder.  I have read The Book of Mormon, Jesus The Christ, half of a Marvelous Work and a Wonder and half of the New Testament.  I have grown incredibly, mentally and spiritually, and I know that the Lord has blessed me to.  Then why do I feel so unprepared?!

The Last P-Day: "I have no idea what is ahead of me in Bolivia."

I had been harboring some pretty bad feelings towards Elder Laycock.  So I went and talked to him about it.  If I were any other place where I could get away for just one day, I think that I could work them off or forget about them.  But here when you are with a district every hour of the day, little things can work up to be big things and about the only way to get them off your chest is to talk about them.  Well, it worked.  I felt really good about everybody today.

As our last P-Day, we went to the temple together and went to Heaps for pizza.  It was fun.  We walked back from Heaps and I could feel those old pains in my back starting to creep in.  I had better start watching my posture and take it a little easier playing volleyball.

I received a letter last week from Linda that said she could see me off at the airport.  I suspect some type of hanky panky has been going on between her and my parents.  In her letter it says that she and her family are going on vacation to bring Denise down to school.  In my Mom's letter however it says that they are going to meet her at the airport Sunday night!  It also said that Mom was helping Linda with her airfare.  If I find out that Linda is flying out from Oregon just to see me off, I am going to be pretty mad (I think).

Just like when I had no idea of what was really awaiting me in the MTC, I have no idea what is ahead of me in Bolivia.  The culture classes have helped a little bit but they just can't show you what you are going to feel.

Shaking Hands With Elder L. Tom Perry

I shook the hand of an apostle of the Lord tonight.  Elder L. Tom Perry spoke at our devotional.  When I shook his hand, I did feel power come out and into my body.  Not physical power but spiritual power.  I know that he is an apostle.

His speech was a needed rest.  I have really felt like I have been sinking under the load of this final week.  I am trying to do everything and I am not doing anything well.  Re-passing, learning new concepts, my relations with others are really sagging and I haven't felt too good about my attitude.

I FEEL BETTER!  I've done some talking with Elder Laycock but it is late and I will write about it tomorrow.

Enjoying An Evening Outside With Elder Laycock

Elder Klaich just gave me this in the dinner line.  He only has one more week before he takes off.  He has always been a good friend and I know that he will be a super missionary in Milano.

This Sunday like always has really been uplifting.  I don't know what I am going to do when I get out into the field.

I got to talk to Elder Laycock last night.  We took a break and went outside.  Our teacher decided that since there were only 15 minutes left we would finish up outside.

The weather especially at that time of night was grand.  Just the kind of peaceful warm summer night that you might dream about.  Elder Laycock and I talked about families, esepcially our parents.  It was special.

Love & The Real Honest To Goodness Cookie Monster

I got a letter from Linda today.  It was a pretty good one.  I am getting a little worried about her though.  It seems to me as though she is getting it cemented into her head and that I am the only one for her.  I am afraid that I will have to write her a letter to try and shift her to a slower speed.  It is scary dealing with a young lady's state of mind.  Especially in these circumstances.  I hope she will take what I have to say and not read in between the lines and think that some horrible change is coming over me.  I really do love that redhead with the gap in her teeth!

Tonight in our branch meeting during the prelude music I felt really close to our Heavenly Father.  There is a certain elder in our branch who has composed some beautiful music.  I really had to struggle to hold back tears.  I don't consider myself a crybaby in the least sense of the word but here at the MTC with the spirit that is here it is just impossible not to find yourself crying now and then.

The kind of love that I felt from my Heavenly Father tonight was very special.  It wasn't the excited joyful feeling that you receive after working with all your might, doing what's right and succeeding.  The love I felt tonight was the love of charity like the kind a boy feels from his father even after he has been slothful or done something wrong.  I could say that it was love that accompanies our Heavenly Father's forgiveness.  Even when we don't deserve it.

I know that the Lord loves us because I have felt that love.  I think that I might even have a minuscule amount of it.  At least at times, like when I think of telling my family goodbye, or looking at the elders in my district in the temple and wanting to hug the lot of them.

On a lighter note, it is really amazing to me to watch Elder Brown when I offer him one of my cookies.  His face really lights up.  He reminds me of a little kid at Christmas.  I told him that and he even agreed with me.  I think that I have found the real honest to goodness cookie monster!

Loving The MTC District At The Temple

The temple was really neat today.  I felt great.  I really felt love for each one of my companions in the district.  It took me a good part of the day to write six letters.  I surely hope that they are appreciated.  It's not that I don't like to write.  It's just that I sacrifice a lot of the Lord's time to do it.

I think I am losing my voice a little bit.  I have been kind of sick the last few days with a sore throat and re-passing charlas doesn't help it a whole lot.

I got two care packages today from home and Linda.  I thought I saw a glint of jealousy in a couple of the elders' eyes!

Linda sounds as though she is doing pretty good.  I sound good in my letters to her (as far as not missing her is concerned) but sometimes I really wish I could just see those big brown eyes looking at me with that special look that she has.  Luckily for me those times are pretty few.  There is just too much to do to let my thoughts get away and start daydreaming.

I passed off C-10 today to Elder Brown.  It is the longest concept in all of the charlas and I learned it in a day and a half which is pretty good.  It gives me hope for the other long concepts!

The Error Of Being Judgemental In The MTC Cafeteria

I have been trying to be a little more humble and it has been pretty hard.  I think that I have developed quite a hard head because it sure is hard to change.  I have been trying to change.  I have been trying to look for the good in people more than the bad.  However I still have a way to go, quite a way.

The other night we were sitting at a table eating dinner.  There were two new missionaries eating.  The one seemed like he wasn't paying attention and our district leader was really being nice.  He was staring kind of out into space.  He also had a tape recorder slung around his shoulder.  "Boy," I thought, "Does he have a lot to learn." (Tape recorders are not allowed to be used at the MTC.)  Well, I had pulled myself above this guy pretty good.  I felt that I was superior.  When they got up to leave, the one elder that I didn't think too much of picked up his tray and walked into a guy who was sitting at another table.  He was blind!  I couldn't believe it.  He didn't feel sorry for himself, he didn't even ask his companion for help even though everything was new in his surroundings.

Well by this time I felt like putting my head under the table.  To think of the courage and faith that this elder must have.  He probably had to beg and plead for the opportunity to serve the Lord.

"...So I will just have to gird up my loins and get some guts and get going!!"

It's about 9:00 am.  We all just got back from the temple.  That place is really special.  I felt unworthy today.  I think that partly stems from the fact that I didn't work very hard yesterday.  I was watching other people thrusting in their sickles but I felt like I was leaning on mine.  I just couldn't memorize very much yesterday.  I did pass off E-4 but I also should have been able to pass H-2 also.  Well that day is passed and no matter how bad I want to I will not be able to live it over again, so I will just have to gird up my loins and get some guts and get going!!

The devotional was great.  At first I wasn't sure if I liked Hartman Rector.  He seemed too sure of himself, too confident.  And I was skeptical.  However by the end of the talk I was hanging on to every word.  Writing as fast as I could.  He really had some good things on missionary work.  He based a great deal of his talk on D&C 31 which is one of my favorite if not the favorite of the Doctrine & Covenants.  He explained the 3 parts of the message that we should take to the world:

1)  Jesus is the Christ
2)  Joseph Smith was a prophet
3)  There is a true church of God on earth today that is guide by a living prophet

He explained some of the best ways to deliver this message, i.e. smiling, etc.

Elder Rector also related several stories of missionaries with inactive or non-member fathers that became active while their sons were out on missions.  He finished up by telling us that we should be baptizing.  3 Nephi 11:21-26, 31.

The closing hymn had some words that affected me.  #119 I think the title is "Bless Us Lord Ere We Part".

Tomorrow marks the half-way point of our stay in the MTC.  I feel in good shape to memorize all 8 discussions.  There are 56 concepts total and I have 19 now.  We are going to spend most of class time memorizing so that should help.

If I have time this afternoon I am going to write little resumes of all the elders and sisters in the district, if I don't die of writer's cramp first.

Well guess what, I don't have time.  It took me quite a while to write to Mom and the family, Dad and Linda.  I will be lucky if I get one more written today.  I sure hope that those letters are appreciated.  I got a care package in the mail from my family.  they are really great and I love them all.  Linda sent me a letter.  Too short but it was a letter.  Well I am going to rest my hand and stop writing.

The Dilemma Of Free Time

My free time is so limited that when I do obtain those few moments it is a hard decision between reading the scriptures or writing in my journal.  I am thankful for the fact that now I wouldn't think of taking a nap.  Those minutes are just too precious to waste in unconsciousness.

The devotional tonight was very special.  Elder Hartman Rector spoke.  I don't have time to talk about it now but tomorrow is my P-Day and I think that I took some pretty good notes so I will try and get that written down tomorrow.

150 Lines Of Spanish Learned

Wow what a day.  If I exhausted my body yesterday I did the same with my mind today.

4 CONCEPTS!!!  I couldn't believe it.  Over 150 lines that were either learned or re-learned.  The things that amazes me is how closely today paralleled yesterday.  It was the same thing.  I started out a little faster than usual because I wanted to pass off E-3 quick and then go to work on finishing off D-5.  Well the first was done easily.  But I didn't pass D-5 the first time.  I was really depressed but I went back at it and with the help of the Lord through prayer I passed it off the next time around.

During morning class the thought of passing 4 concepts had crossed my mind.  I had brushed them aside rather quickly because it scared me to think of passing that many concepts in one day.

By afternoon they were all gone.  However I started going over D-6 during dinner.  We had two hours in class tonight to use on discussions so I went to work on D-6.  Then the thoughts of passing 4 came back if I could pass it (D-6) off in an hour then I would have an hour left for D-7 (it was short).

While the class took a break and went outside I passed D-6 to Hermana Urtado by the skin of my teeth.  I knew that I wasn't learning these as good as I should but I had set my goal by now and I just had to get there.

I actually had less than an hour because we sing and pray at 9:45 and it was about 9:00 pm.  Those minutes sure flew by and I felt just like I did yesterday.  Like before I won the race.  I passed off D-7 at 10:40.  What a night!  I don't remember everything but it should come back pretty easy.  If the Lord is willing.  Tomorrow is Sunday.  Hopefully a day of rest for all of me.  Mind and body!

The Little Girl & The Popsicle Stand

I have a little time before our branch meeting.  I was reading a letter that Linda sent me.  She asked me what my vision was of missionary work.  She also asked me what I thought of when I hear the word 'missionary'.

Well, one thing that I think of when I hear that word is a little girl.  Elder Brown and I were walking back from the barber shop on Wednesday.  Right in front of the mailbox at Carroll Hall, a little girl was selling popsicles.  One half for a dime and a whole one for twenty cents.  Elder Brown gave me a quarter to buy one.  After giving us our popsicle and taking the quarter, this sweet little child of God realized that she didn't have a nickel for change.  Instead of trying to sweet talk us out of the nickel (which she could have done with just one gapped tooth smile), she held up a dime in her hand, and with a big grin said, "Here, because you're missionaries!"  Well we told her to keep the change or give it to her brother for his mission fund.  The point that came across to me was the love and respect that even small children have for missionaries.  A nickel isn't much, especially in this day and age but to her it was a good chunk out of her income and she offered it so willingly.  At the time that this occurred it didn't seem like a big deal but I have thought about it since.

Right now I have a very respected and loved title.  Missionary!  However I am still old John Christensen.  I am really unworthy of all the respect.  It does give me a lot of growing room however.  I hope and pray that I will never do anything that might not uphold the ideal of "the missionary".

The Lord has really blessed me.  I am beginning to translate fewer words in the concept and I believe that I am learning them faster.  Right now I am on schedule to get all 8 discussions.  I hope that I can keep it up.