Understanding & Recognizing The Will Of The Lord

Johnny Ahlstrom got home today from New Jersey - engaged.  He is happy and I think that he will be a little different from here on out.  His heart and most of his brain are somewhere in N.J.

I had a very special experience this evening.  We held a Bishop's court for R.  The details were extensive and many transgressions involving chastity, word of wisdom and honesty were involved.  In Bishop Shelley's experience it was the most compounded court that he had ever dealt with.  After the initial part of the court, R was excused and we talked.  My head was spinning.  I didn't know what to think.  Being the second counselor, the Bishop asked for my recommendation first.  I didn't know what to say.  He gave Brent and I more time to think.  I was praying fervently that the Lord would make His will manifest to me.

At first I felt that disfellowshipment would be appropriate.  I almost said that.  Then, as I thought, I decided against that.  I just felt that probation would be the right thing.  I told the Bishop my decision.  He tried to hide a smile that came over his face.  I wasn't sure what that meant and it made me nervous but I felt good about my suggestion.  Brent expressed the same desire.  We then knelt in prayer and we felt the confirmation of the Spirit.  The Bishop also felt that probation was the correct decision.

It was a special feeling of gratitude that came into my heart.  The decision was unanimous and the Lord was able to make His will known to us.

I'm tired - mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally!


JC

Bishopric Visits & Anticipation Of 2 Econ Classes

We went around as the bishopric and met the new people in the ward.  I am developing a lot of important social skills that I don't feel I have been blessed with naturally.

I am looking forward to my two Econ classes this summer.  They will both be challenging but they are small classes and I feel that will help a great deal.  I do love life!


JC

A Weekend At Jan & Wayne's

I spent a good part of the weekend at Jan and Wayne's.  She let me borrow her Triumph TR8 convertible.  So I went to the water slides with Valerie, then up to Alta all the while getting fried by the sun.

I have just realized how picky I have become about women.  In a way it is good.  I will not marry just the first girl that comes along.  At the same time I might not give some girls a good look when I ought to.

How come I feel like I have done this before?

Ron is going to have a church court.  This will be an interesting experience since he is my roommate!

I have really been tempted lately to avoid writing in my journal and reading the scriptures.


JC

Participating In A Bishop's Court

I blew my stats final today.  It lowered my grade in the course from an A to a B.  I was very discouraged.  Sometimes I just don't feel I have the smarts that it takes to do the job.

I participated in a Bishop's court this evening.  It was an important experience for me.  I felt a spirit of love throughout the trial and that made things go smoothly.  I'm impressed a great deal with both Bishop Shelley and with Brent Thomas, the first counselor.

I represented The Church and found it difficult to bring strong allegations to someone while they sat right in front of me.

The decision of the court was unanimous and it greatly reinforced my testimony.

Tracy Milligan and I went for a walk last night and again this evening.  I really can pick 'em.  She is leaving for Arizona tomorrow then home to Colorado then she will be off to France for a year!


JC

Not Academic Scholar Material

I feel no inclination in any part of my body that can even hint towards me being a scholar.

Although I have been blessed with a sound mind and aptitude, it is simply not within my character to excel in academics.  After my statistics test this morning I pondered the possibility of becoming a teacher.  I am not sure in what way I will leave my mark on this earth but I am confident that I will leave some mark somewhere.  I can feel it inside.  I will succeed in doing something in this life very well.

Creativity does not seem to be one of my strong suits.  I do feel that I can observe and learn and benefit from what I see.  I must determine some goals and begin toward towards them.


JC

When Dad Said "I Love You" & Sitting On The Stand As A New Bishopric Member

When President Andersen announced my name to be the second counselor in the bishopric my heart was pounding.  I could feel it as it raced the blood through my arteries, straining my neck against the collar of my shirt.  I was asked to sit on the stand.  Although I was nervous and my hand trembled as I held the hymnal, I did feel good to be up there.  I still feel like John Christensen.  I felt inadequate as usual during my temple recommend interview with Bishop Shelley.  How could I possibly say yes to a question asking if I was totally honest in all my dealings with my fellowmen.  I said yes.  What does that say about me?

I called Dad tonight and had a good talk with him.  It was mostly about trivial stuff like tennis but it felt comfortable to talk with him.  At the end of the conversation I told him, as I often do, that I loved him.  I must have caught him off guard or something miraculous happened, because he said "I love you too."  I almost went into a state of shock!  That must be the first time in the last 15 years of so that I can remember him saying those exact words!  I've always known that he has loved me but there truly is something magical about those three words.

Finals week is coming up this week.  I have three tests to take in three days.  I hope that I can stay current in my journal!

I don't remember exactly what President Andersen said as I was being set apart as a counselor in the bishopric, but I do remember the feeling of closeness to spiritual things.  It did feel good.


JC

Religion 130 Class Testimony Meeting

Not much to write except that I am very tired.

We finished up in the Religion 130 workshop tonight with a testimony meeting.  One girl got up and said that it was only the second time in 7 years.  Everyone in the class bore their testimonies and the meeting went very well.

We are getting close to finals.  One week left and I have to take three tests!


JC

Coming To An End With Val

Val and I saw "Gremlins" last night.  I don't know why but I felt kind of uncomfortable.  I just don't feel like taking things any farther since she is going on her mission.

We watched teachers teach this afternoon in search of a replacement for Jim Dallysple.  Jim Lucero taught real well.


JC

The Power Of The Spirit To Change Lives In The MTC

It is a humbling thought to realize the tremendous forces that are influencing lives for good at the Missionary Training Center.  Elder Cluff (Big Elder Cluff) and his district are leaving this week.  The changes that have taken place in him are like night and day.  2 1/2 weeks ago he was rude, cocky and rebellious.  Tonight in class he sat on the front row, participated in the lesson and expressed his excitement as he prepared to enter the mission field.  No other influence save that of the Spirit could create such a miraculous change in so short of a time.

Today has been a non-stopper and yet as I drove home at 9:00 p.m. from the MTC, I thought how boring life would get if there weren't lots of things to do.

John A. is battling with the truth lamp in a loving effort to get it to stay on.  He is studying for the GMAT.  What a great friend.


JC

Being Called Into The BYU Singles Ward Bishopric

I'm not sure that I will ever bear my testimony again!

Bishop Shelley called this morning and asked me to go see the Stake President.  When I got up there I recognized a couple of the men in the ward.  Ideas started going through my mind; a calling to a position in one of the elder's quorums?  an assistant ward clerk?  what?

As I went in to talk with one of the counselors, the first question he asked me was, "Have you impressed your bishop?"  That seemed an odd question and I really couldn't answer it.  He then asked me what I was doing in The Church.  I told him that I presently did not have a calling in the ward.  He then asked me if I would serve as the second counselor in the Bishopric.  That question almost short-circuited my brain.  I didn't know what to say.  I felt most unworthy and inadequate.  I told the member of the Stake Presidency why I felt that way and requested a talk with Bishop Shelley.  We talked, he told me to see him after church.

That gave me the opportunity to go home and pray.  I cried and cried and I felt so inadequate.  I prayed for comfort and strength and peace of mind.  I prayed that the Lord would help me to accept the decisions made by his ordained leaders.

As I walked back to church I felt a feeling of peace come over me.  There had been a lot of doubts and reservations going through my mind.  All my bad actions, thoughts and deeds came to mind.  The prayer helped a great deal.

After sacrament I talked again with the Bishop and got things squared away for lots of work to come. I started the minute that I walked out of his office.  We counted up tithing, fast offerings, and budget then went and deposited them at the bank.  Rob was very helpful and gracious as he assisted me.

I then went back and talked to President Thompson.

What a day!  Up to the MTC after finishing my fast (one of the best I've had in a long time).  Problems with AU in the gym with all the Brazilian missionaries.

Valerie came down from Murray to visit.  She is a gem and I think I better keep an eye on her.

John got back from Idaho.  I missed him.  We shared experiences from our mission journals and laughed.  I do love him and will miss him greatly when he gets married.

I called Mom today.  She was depressed and in tears.  She feels at times that she has failed in raising her family in The Church.  I tried to comfort her.

A valiant woman.  I love her dearly.


JC

Fun In The Sun & Thoughts About Marriage

I put a $100 deposit down on a computer today.  I guess that marks my attempt to move into the information age.

Lots of fun in the sun today.  Things started out with a 3 on 3 basketball tournament at the gym.  Our team did poorly.  But we did beat the bounders (Shawn McCord's team).

After that our ward played softball against the other ward in The Elms.  We beat them.  In the first inning I caught three balls to the left field in a row.  I was rather impressed with myself!

Still later diving and watermelon at the pool then scriptures and reading at the library.  I fell asleep for awhile at the library and awoke with a genuine kink in my neck.  I hope that it is gone in the morning.

I am fasting as I didn't have a very good fast last week.

P.S. Letter from Anne, postcard from Val, book mark from Hermana Dalton

John is home to Idaho this weekend.  He is spending some time with his parents as he is trying to decide if he should Marry (with a capital) Suzy End.

That is a tough decision and I don't envy the mental anguish that it assuredly is causing him.  The concept of marriage still seems so distant and foreign to me.  I just can't see any girl I know right now as my wife.

I predict that I will be at least 27 before I do get married.  There is a lot that I can learn in 3 short years.

I'm slowly falling for Churchill.


JC

An 84 On A Stats Exam

My feelings have fluctuated quite a bit today.  I studied all afternoon for my statistics test then I got an 84 on it.  I was upset.  I studied harder for this test than for any of the others but my results were poor.

I came home to eat some dinner before returning to the library and found myself being quite crass with my roommates.  I then sat down and read for a good hour about Churchill.  That was therapy for my feelings.  I read of his school days.  What a different kind of education we get now.

I went back up to school feeling happy and enjoying the beautiful spring evening.  I read in the reserve library until 10:30 then I picked up a book on Mormons and Muslims.  It instilled in me an instant desire to go out and see the world, especially the Middle East, instead of just reading about them.

John is trying to find out if he should marry Suzy.  I feel for him!


JC

Singin' In The Rain

It rained and rained today.  I got caught in the heaviest downpour of the day as I left the library for the apartment.  As the rain became more intense I gradually lost hope of staying dry.  That led to one of the most enjoyable walks I've had in a long time.

I started singing, let the rain wash my face, hit my neck and stomped in the puddles forming on the sidewalk.

I took the Religion 130 workshop through the MTC tonight.  Elders Wirty and Brady spoke and bore their testimonies.  Many of the kids were impressed.  Heidi Parker told me afterward that she was much more impressed that she thought she would've been.

I'm simply flabbergasted at the carnality of the aristocracy in Victorian England.  In reading of Churchill's parents I simply can't believe how readily adultery was accepted by their society.


JC

The Highs & The Lows Of Life

I guess one does change on life's waves make their impressions in the bedrock of youth.  I used to have such problems staying in the library to study.  It was especially difficult during the warm summer months.  It still isn't easy but the discipline is gradually becoming more evident in my life.  My, but what a struggle this life has been.  How happy I have been at times and how low I have plunged.  Sometimes life is so filled with activities that the excitement never seems to ebb.  At other times the daily grind of things can approach a hypnotic state.

I took a tour through the MTC tonight.  It was my Religion 130 class (Mission Prep).  I felt the Spirit very strongly.


JC

A Phone Call From Lisa

Lisa called me.  Surprise!  Homework then work.  That is about all.

Blessings, Trials & An Awkward Date Dance

3:30, 3:00, 1:30 - that's my excuse for no journal entries the last couple days.  I can't believe how blessed I have been.

There have been some real trials for me to overcome in this life and I'm still working on quite a few.  The Lord has given me so much.

School is going well and my social life is going along after than I can manage.

Tonight I was asked if I would be the lead in the ward play, "Cinderella".  I am going to play the part of Prince Charming.  I don't know what to expect.

Valerie is on vacation and I'm looking forward to a letter from Anne.

Last night I doubled with Jim and Laneeda Lucero.  I took out Laneeda's friend, Mary.  We had a barbecue which was fun.  Then we went to a dance which was not fun because every girl I've ever met in the whole wide world (including Lisa) was there.  All of Val's roommates were there.  Founder Bridge was playing and I felt like everyone was watching me.

Luce and I went golfing for the first time on Saturday.  I haven't golfed for 10 years and it was a lot of fun to get out and hit a few.


JC